Oh God, I just came home pilled off my face. There isn't really any explanation for ... well pupils so big that your eyes look black ... other than drugs is there? I said I hadn't slept. They told me to sleep, I said I didn't want to sleep. I've completely lost my voice. My pupils are so fucking large and they noticed.

I really need next time to get home next time before the morning after, while I'm properly on pills and actually just tell them everything. I won't care. I don't want to tell them about the e though... they'll only worry. But if I'm on pills and telling them about everything but the pills I think they might actually guess. Odd.

I do actually need sleep come to think about it. My step half uncle Sam's here, and I NEED to tell him about last night. But he's with my parents. I can't steal him away easily. I'll try in a minute. I want my voice back!

I feel good today though. I feel very at peace still. I had an overwhelming feeling of security and safeness yesterday.

Oh yeah, but I'm getting rid of this diary. It's done nothing but evil I'm afraid.