I was thinking today about what I might be like if I really was the good girl that my parents actually still seem to think that I am. It's funny because I don't think they're stupid, but they honestly don't seem to know.

I guess what they believe is that... I don't know. I don't know what they think we do at Ryan's house when we don't leave until 3 in the morning. I don't know what they think we do in the park when we don't get home til late at night. I don't know what they think we talk about. I don't actually have any idea. My step dad practically walked in on me and Caroline kissing, but I don't think he knows that we're going out. They left me alone for two weeks and went away - the only thing they accused us of was drinking - and said they didn't mind. But it was the only thing we weren't doing.

I wonder what it would be like to be able to be completely open with your parents. To not hold back about anything. It's such a strange thought because so few teenagers can do it. When I grow up, will I honestly become as naiive as my parents? I don't get how they can be so naiive. I mean my mum was a bit of a hippy, she took lots of drugs, she disobeyed her parents. And yet she is willing to believe that I dont.

I don't talk to my dad about that sort of thing. If he asked I'd probably say. But he clearly actually knows, even though I don't live with him and so he has the least evidence. I mean, take for example, "Have you tried any of these things they're talking about" (In reference to Exctacy and Speed and suchlike) and when I said, "No!" as if I was shocked that he'd even ask, he replied, "I was just asking!"

So he clearly assumes that I do pot. Especially as I had a wee bit of a rant to him about how good a song The Irony Of It All is. That's practically just hanging a label around your neck, "Teenage drug taker" he said that he can't bear that song. But he would have liked it when he was younger. He would have thought it witty and clever. Now it's just bad poetry. I think it should be a fucking anthem.

The Streets will never be popular in America. That's the strangest thing. Even though stuff with fuckloads of American slang can be understood here, stuff with fuckloads of English slang will just never be understood there. Also the culture's too different. Nobody's really gonna support a song that says that drinking is evil and completely takes the piss out of drunk people, and says that pot is good and creative and only makes people happy and peaceful. It just won't work. They'll never be popular anywhere but here. :-(