I'm not locked I'm not locked I'm not locked.

I went on holiday right after the two weeks of merriness and couldn't bear for my parents to find my diary as well as all the king slims and baggies lying around the house.

Sorry for locking. Temporarily. But I haven't written anything since then so it doesn't matter.

I'm unhappy. At the moment. In general. It will pass but that's the long and short of it. I don't feel like I can connect with any of my friends, and if there's one exception it's no longer Ryan, it's Grace.

Ryan's growing up and I'm not. It makes me feel kinda like shit. He's working. In construction. He's working with people a lot older than him, he always has been working with people a lot older than him. And now I feel it, clear as day, kick in the stomach, he's actually growing up and leaving me behind.

Here I am. Lower middle class college student. I can do A-Levels but I'll never be able to afford university with all this top up fee shit. I'm so pissed off. I want to go to university. I want it. I want it. I want it. But I can't. I can't bear to be in debt for the rest of my life. It's not fair. Life isn't fair.

Some people can afford to go, easily. Their parents can pay for it and it'll be easy for them. Some people can just about afford to go, if they're willing to be in debt. Some people can't afford to go at all. Some people can't afford to drink clean water. I guess when you put it into perspective it gets.... even more miserable.