I feel unguarded and insecure. Like I'm walking a tightrope and I could fall off at any point. Plus I'm stoned. I'm so bored but I have nowhere to go. I think I'm actually crazy. I don't know whether that's just another weird insecurity thing or if I actually am. I think I might be. I definately am not normal, and I couldn't be even if I tried. I don't fit in anywhere or with anyone. I'm barely a person, more of a machine which has to fit its basic programming in at the same level as the main stuff.

I am so frustrated and angry. I meet people and I just want to take hold of their hair and smash their heads against the wall. I'm not a girl, I'm a person. But I wish I was a girl. I'm gender neutral in all but my body. I wish I could be an actual girl.