I need to get away.

I need to get away.

I need to get away.

The atmosphere of everything here is wrong. I need to go to university next year, I thought I might take a gap year, but no, I'm going. Away away away. All the way to Devon or something.

Until then, it's going to be different. I'm going to be different. I'm going to be faster, I'm going to be smarter and I'm going to be on harder drugs. All three. How am I gonna do that? I'm gonna stop lounging around all day smoking dope. It's not actually that complicated.

I'm going to RUN to college every day, and when I get there I'm not gonna stop for a joint, I'm gonna go to my lesson and take notes and do the work, and then I'm gonna go home, and do the homework, and at the weekend, I am going to get hammered off of my face on Cocaine, E's ... anything I can get my dirty little hands on. I'm even going to give drinking another go, I think I might be able to handle it now.

I'm gonna meet new people as well. I love the friends I currently have, but I need to have some adventures. I'm gonna go all over London, visit art galleries, museums, squat parties. It's gonna be wonderful. Plus my sisters, I need to spend more time with them. I need to finish the book I'm reading to them.

I need to go to the cinema more often. By myself.

I need to get a job.

I need to get more involved in politics. Join a group. Go on some riots for fucks sake. There's enough in the world that I don't like. I might as well.

I need to repaint my room. And tidy it. And buy myself a new fucking wardrobe. I'm bored of all the black.

I want a fishtank in my room.

I want my room painted silver.

I want one wall completely covered in mirrors.

I want a holiday. I want to be in Cornwall, lying with my head sticking out of my tent, staring up at the stars, Tori Amos in my CD player. Maybe a joint in my mouth, maybe not. I'll be dressed warmly but I'll feel the cold air on my face and neck. During the day I'll stare at the waves, not the stars. From the top of a cliff. Exhilirating.

AAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to get away from here.