Okay. Well maybe only a day, but that doesn't matter because guess what everyone, I finally got things sorted in my head. I'm my own free woman. You can even say UCAS to me and I won't have a nervous breakdown.

ucas ucas ucas ucas ucas ucas ucas ucas ucas ucas ucas ucas ucas ucas

Ucas. Heehee.

I had the most chilled out night of my life last night (I made three people smile Tristan, give me my stars!) Most of it was me, Harry and Brendan. First we went out begging, cause we needed another quid to pick up. Once we'd earned a pound through method ask drunk yuppies for bus fair, we went on a mission to pick up some draw.

We had to walk quite a long way, but the journey was fun, the conversation was fun, and we kept finding things along the way. I found an umbrella, a beautiful rose and a whole cigarette on the ground. We then went back. All in all it probably took us over two hours.

When we got back Harry made his bed and Brendan rolled three spliffs. I made everybody orange squash, Harry lit candles, and then a zoot was given to each person. We sat watching "Dare To Believe" a programme aimed at stoned teenagers late at night. "What's this? Comb... What's this? Comb.... What's this? Comb..."

Before long the atmosphere was absolutely perfect, so calm it was unbelievable. It was about 4am at this point. Me and Brendan were under one duvet on the sofa, and Harry was on his bed, and we were all just chilling out and bursting into laughter and watching TV. Usually the conversation was just snippets of sentences every now and again, but we did have some very good full length conversations.

I look pretty today as well. That's not usual for me, not after a night out. But I do. I have also established that I no longer have body image issues at all. I've lost quite a lot of weight since I started stoning, which is odd because I've eaten a hell of a lot more junk food. But I've also done more walking around, and I guess I've taken up smoking. Something I am not at all proud of. I am actually happy with my body though, I mean some of it is annoying, but it's... nice. It's fine. I'm not uncomfortable with it, which is really nice. It's a huge load off my shoulders.

My God I'm actually wearing a smile for the first time in weeks, and I look so good. It's amazing. Stress does make you ugly.